I Am Sanctus..

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1:42 AM

Jun 20, 2009

i think i realised sth.

i only come to my blog when i'm unhappy or down.
i think i've treated this blog very badly, but maybe not how i've treated her.
said some useless and hurtful stuff. out of some angry fit.
i'm not sure man. its my turn to get lost.
no mood to study.
or should i say, no mood to even live my life normally.
slping in the mornings. waking in the evenings.
slping again in the mornings.
how the fuck have i lived my life recently?
MST week coming.
5 tests, 5 subjects.
In 1 week.

Maybe?
Might be?
Possibly?
I dun have any fucking mood to study. Maybe i should just screw everything up.
Sometimes. I think i have the ability to live alone. Isolated.
But can i really do that?
I guess the answer's no.
Since all those storms and turbulence came to my life many years back,
I think i've really changed.
Not really wanting to interact much.
I can love with my 100%. I can love without fearing the other party will reciprocate or not.
But more often than not, I'm hurt.
I still have those scars a particular girl left me with when she left for australia when i was J2.
Promised a whole load of shit.
Ended up with another guy b4 she even broke up cleanly with me.
Now my r/s is on the rocks again.
How could u be so cold to me like u r now?
Maybe u're hurt deeply.
But do u think i'm not?
I'm only human.
With normal emotions and feelings.
I have my own flaws too.
My mind is in such a whirl now.
If i can get thru this alive,
I think i need my own god to bless me.
For i think.

I really need it.